DO WE UNDERSTAND LIFE?

My youngest daughter had a boyfriend (at last - I mean, she is turning 20 this year), but he is now gone with the wind. The reason for this break-up (my opinion) - they were not made for each other. He is a good guy, but my daughter had a much stronger personality than him. He works in another town (about 4 hours from us), and my daughter phoned him a lot (even when she was at college) just to get up and go to work. He would get his salary and treat everybody without thinking of the day of tomorrow. He would go to a bar and everybody will buy and order with his name and money.

You see, being good is not always the right thing. Sometimes we must be able to say no. We must be able to stand up for ourselves and fight for our interests. My daughter really loves him, but how long will it take her to get so frustrated for being the strong one. Although we (women) want, or rather must, work in a man's world, we still want to be spoiled. We still want the man in our life to be the strong one, the one that we can look up to. Sometimes, we just want to sit back and let him solve the problem. We want him to take over the worries. Unfortunately, in today's life, we have a lot of men who do not even know how to try to be nice to woman.

Before you think I hate men, I do not. I love having my hubby around me (maybe it is because I have a lot of me-time only, because he is going JHB quite often), I love being able to give a problem to him to solve (not that it is thaaaaat successful), and the most important, I love giving him a hug and tell him I love him. He is not an emotional person, so that is a one-way road, but I believe he will change.

I said to my daughter that she must make her own decision. I cannot make it for her, but she must think about the future. Will she always be willing to be the strong one, make the decisions in the house, work, raise kids, etc., without a person who is responsible and who will be able to help and support her.

Early this week, I saw a woman in tears. She stays with a guy who do not treat her well. I have asked her if she loves him or does she depend on him. Does she need him to help her survive or what is her true feelings for him. You know, I really felt sorry for her - she looked at me for a few seconds, and with tears in her eyes she said she love him with all her heart. She never thought that she will be able to love someone that much. She said that she even love him more than her first husband (he died and she remarry before she met this guy), and the second one abused her.

I went home with a few questions in my heart. Why do we (women) allow men to hurt us? Why do we allow them to walk over us? Why do we allow them to use and abuse us? Why do we still love them, even if they hurt us so badly, we will still love and support them.

It took two different scenario's that made me ask that questions. I was in total shock because I know that guy since he was a small boy. I know his parents and they are the most wonderful, kind and caring people.

I said to that lady that we as woman must stop fighting with the men. If they are unreasonable, just shut up, turn around and start to pray. Believe me, I am still battling to do this every time, but if I do that, I can see the change in my hubby.

I said to her that she must go and look in the mirror (I think there is a lot of us not doing it - including me) and see the stunning woman that God created. She is special and she must never allow somebody to make her believe anything else. I know it sounds so easy, but the truth is, I myself, do not do it and sometimes I allow people to make me feel bad about myself. As I said to her, for years I thought I was the most ugliest person in the world (just because my hubby once said to me that if he leaves me, nobody else will take me), I thought I was worth nothing and I just lived for my children (because I got a lot of love and affection from them). It took Gary Kieswetter to change that. He said that we must look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are beautiful, because God created us in our mother's womb, before we were even born. We were special then, just as we are special now.

Another lesson that I have learned in life: If you pray for your husband, pray for change in you too. He is not the only one with mistakes and problems. You are human too.

Girls, keep on anointing your husbands and children. Believe in God and live for God. That is the only way.

IS OUR LOVE FAITHFUL?

A few days ago, some of my co-workers asked me if my daughter and her ex is going to get back together?! Well, I do not have an idea what is going to happen next. I just said to them that I do know one thing, my daughter understands 1 Kor 13 a lot better than me and she is definitely the better person.

Over the weekend, I got my answer. God instructed Hosea to marry a prostitute (not relevant to their life story). God wanted to show us what Heaven's unconditional love looks like. Hosea's wife could not stay faithful to one man. She rejected him for strangers.

Although Hosea was hurt badly, God instructed him to re-affirm his love. He had to buy her from a slave block. She treated his love with contempt. Aside from what had happened, Hosea welcomed her back into his life and expressed his unconditional love.

This true story show how much God loves us. We, as human beings still reject God in many ways. Come on, be honest to yourself. We say we are Christians, but we still want to live the life we had before we became Christians. That is impossible and you all know that.

God always forgive our sins. He always respond with grace and mercy. God shows us what rejected love does - it stays faithful. It does not matter what we do, if we repent, ask God for forgiveness and are faithful to Him and ourselves, HE WILL FORGIVE US. because He stays faithful to His word.

God said in Luk 6:27-28 that we must love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you. You will say: How is it possible to do that? I know, I have a problem myself in doing all this - after all, I am just a human being. You know, I think the problem lies in just that - we are to human. We do not love the way God loves. We do not forgive the way God forgives. Makes me think of the guy who owed a lot of money and the rich guy said to him that it is OK. He is free - imagine that. Then what did he do, asked money from a guy who owes him a lot less. Well, at the end he paid up very hard - with torture and paying the money back. This is in the Bible, so why is it so difficult for us to forgive? We sometimes say we forgive, but we will never forget. You know what, you did not forgive that person fully.

I think this is one of the big problems in the world. You cannot forgive your spouse for doing something he/she did. What is the next step? D I V O R C E. Forgive yourself and your spouse and work on your marriage. It is a precious gift from God. Do not just divorce. Ask God to help you to work through it. Maybe, just maybe you will realise that God can rectify everything. Anything and everything you need God to help you with - He will do it. I can assure you, whether it is unfaithfulness, married for the wrong reasons, etc. - nothing is impossible with God.

You can give all your love to your spouse (whether he/she deserves it or not), because will always love us and He will forgive us over and over again. Why is it so difficult for us human beings to love unconditionally? If God can do that, why can't we?

We must ask God to fill us with His love, understanding and let His light shine through us. That is the only way of surviving our earthly stay.

VISITING ITALY

Well, my daughter and grandchild left for Italy. They have won a trip to Italy with the Rice Crispies Competition (My other daughter won and had to transfer it to my eldest, as she would not be able to take my grandchild overseas).

My grandchild is 5 years old and at first she wanted to go to Italy, but did not want to go by aeroplane (she said she is afraid of heights). When my eldest said that she would hold her, she just wanted to go. She would look up in the air and tell her mom that the weather is nice, so they can go.

Yesterday, they came to the house and you could see that they have cried a lot. Apparently my grandchild started crying and asking her dad to come with (they applied for their passports the same day, but he waited 5 months for his passport, which only arrived last week, and it was to late to get a visum to go with them). When she cried, he started crying (he is more than 2m tall, so imagine a big guy like him crying), and then my daughter cried too.

My husband took them to the airport (because my ex son-in-law was to emotional to take them), and when they left, my grandchild said to my youngest daughter she must stay with "ouma" (grandma).

I prayed to God to keep them all safe on the trip, as well as my husband and middle daughter (going to the airport and back). They had to wait for a while (getting back) to get into the right lane, and when getting there, they just heard brakes. The people passing them had an accident (a few cars), and had they not been forced to stop, they would have been part of that accident. Luckily they came home safe and sound.

Do you now know why I believe in God. He is so good to me and my family. I will never ever choose anything above Him.

As I mentioned previously, my daughter is an artist. I hope and pray that she will get new inspiration there in Italy. She was very passive about her art the last few months.

I want you all to pray for the safekeeping and safe return of my daughter and grandchild.