DO WE UNDERSTAND LIFE?

My youngest daughter had a boyfriend (at last - I mean, she is turning 20 this year), but he is now gone with the wind. The reason for this break-up (my opinion) - they were not made for each other. He is a good guy, but my daughter had a much stronger personality than him. He works in another town (about 4 hours from us), and my daughter phoned him a lot (even when she was at college) just to get up and go to work. He would get his salary and treat everybody without thinking of the day of tomorrow. He would go to a bar and everybody will buy and order with his name and money.

You see, being good is not always the right thing. Sometimes we must be able to say no. We must be able to stand up for ourselves and fight for our interests. My daughter really loves him, but how long will it take her to get so frustrated for being the strong one. Although we (women) want, or rather must, work in a man's world, we still want to be spoiled. We still want the man in our life to be the strong one, the one that we can look up to. Sometimes, we just want to sit back and let him solve the problem. We want him to take over the worries. Unfortunately, in today's life, we have a lot of men who do not even know how to try to be nice to woman.

Before you think I hate men, I do not. I love having my hubby around me (maybe it is because I have a lot of me-time only, because he is going JHB quite often), I love being able to give a problem to him to solve (not that it is thaaaaat successful), and the most important, I love giving him a hug and tell him I love him. He is not an emotional person, so that is a one-way road, but I believe he will change.

I said to my daughter that she must make her own decision. I cannot make it for her, but she must think about the future. Will she always be willing to be the strong one, make the decisions in the house, work, raise kids, etc., without a person who is responsible and who will be able to help and support her.

Early this week, I saw a woman in tears. She stays with a guy who do not treat her well. I have asked her if she loves him or does she depend on him. Does she need him to help her survive or what is her true feelings for him. You know, I really felt sorry for her - she looked at me for a few seconds, and with tears in her eyes she said she love him with all her heart. She never thought that she will be able to love someone that much. She said that she even love him more than her first husband (he died and she remarry before she met this guy), and the second one abused her.

I went home with a few questions in my heart. Why do we (women) allow men to hurt us? Why do we allow them to walk over us? Why do we allow them to use and abuse us? Why do we still love them, even if they hurt us so badly, we will still love and support them.

It took two different scenario's that made me ask that questions. I was in total shock because I know that guy since he was a small boy. I know his parents and they are the most wonderful, kind and caring people.

I said to that lady that we as woman must stop fighting with the men. If they are unreasonable, just shut up, turn around and start to pray. Believe me, I am still battling to do this every time, but if I do that, I can see the change in my hubby.

I said to her that she must go and look in the mirror (I think there is a lot of us not doing it - including me) and see the stunning woman that God created. She is special and she must never allow somebody to make her believe anything else. I know it sounds so easy, but the truth is, I myself, do not do it and sometimes I allow people to make me feel bad about myself. As I said to her, for years I thought I was the most ugliest person in the world (just because my hubby once said to me that if he leaves me, nobody else will take me), I thought I was worth nothing and I just lived for my children (because I got a lot of love and affection from them). It took Gary Kieswetter to change that. He said that we must look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are beautiful, because God created us in our mother's womb, before we were even born. We were special then, just as we are special now.

Another lesson that I have learned in life: If you pray for your husband, pray for change in you too. He is not the only one with mistakes and problems. You are human too.

Girls, keep on anointing your husbands and children. Believe in God and live for God. That is the only way.

IS OUR LOVE FAITHFUL?

A few days ago, some of my co-workers asked me if my daughter and her ex is going to get back together?! Well, I do not have an idea what is going to happen next. I just said to them that I do know one thing, my daughter understands 1 Kor 13 a lot better than me and she is definitely the better person.

Over the weekend, I got my answer. God instructed Hosea to marry a prostitute (not relevant to their life story). God wanted to show us what Heaven's unconditional love looks like. Hosea's wife could not stay faithful to one man. She rejected him for strangers.

Although Hosea was hurt badly, God instructed him to re-affirm his love. He had to buy her from a slave block. She treated his love with contempt. Aside from what had happened, Hosea welcomed her back into his life and expressed his unconditional love.

This true story show how much God loves us. We, as human beings still reject God in many ways. Come on, be honest to yourself. We say we are Christians, but we still want to live the life we had before we became Christians. That is impossible and you all know that.

God always forgive our sins. He always respond with grace and mercy. God shows us what rejected love does - it stays faithful. It does not matter what we do, if we repent, ask God for forgiveness and are faithful to Him and ourselves, HE WILL FORGIVE US. because He stays faithful to His word.

God said in Luk 6:27-28 that we must love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you. You will say: How is it possible to do that? I know, I have a problem myself in doing all this - after all, I am just a human being. You know, I think the problem lies in just that - we are to human. We do not love the way God loves. We do not forgive the way God forgives. Makes me think of the guy who owed a lot of money and the rich guy said to him that it is OK. He is free - imagine that. Then what did he do, asked money from a guy who owes him a lot less. Well, at the end he paid up very hard - with torture and paying the money back. This is in the Bible, so why is it so difficult for us to forgive? We sometimes say we forgive, but we will never forget. You know what, you did not forgive that person fully.

I think this is one of the big problems in the world. You cannot forgive your spouse for doing something he/she did. What is the next step? D I V O R C E. Forgive yourself and your spouse and work on your marriage. It is a precious gift from God. Do not just divorce. Ask God to help you to work through it. Maybe, just maybe you will realise that God can rectify everything. Anything and everything you need God to help you with - He will do it. I can assure you, whether it is unfaithfulness, married for the wrong reasons, etc. - nothing is impossible with God.

You can give all your love to your spouse (whether he/she deserves it or not), because will always love us and He will forgive us over and over again. Why is it so difficult for us human beings to love unconditionally? If God can do that, why can't we?

We must ask God to fill us with His love, understanding and let His light shine through us. That is the only way of surviving our earthly stay.

VISITING ITALY

Well, my daughter and grandchild left for Italy. They have won a trip to Italy with the Rice Crispies Competition (My other daughter won and had to transfer it to my eldest, as she would not be able to take my grandchild overseas).

My grandchild is 5 years old and at first she wanted to go to Italy, but did not want to go by aeroplane (she said she is afraid of heights). When my eldest said that she would hold her, she just wanted to go. She would look up in the air and tell her mom that the weather is nice, so they can go.

Yesterday, they came to the house and you could see that they have cried a lot. Apparently my grandchild started crying and asking her dad to come with (they applied for their passports the same day, but he waited 5 months for his passport, which only arrived last week, and it was to late to get a visum to go with them). When she cried, he started crying (he is more than 2m tall, so imagine a big guy like him crying), and then my daughter cried too.

My husband took them to the airport (because my ex son-in-law was to emotional to take them), and when they left, my grandchild said to my youngest daughter she must stay with "ouma" (grandma).

I prayed to God to keep them all safe on the trip, as well as my husband and middle daughter (going to the airport and back). They had to wait for a while (getting back) to get into the right lane, and when getting there, they just heard brakes. The people passing them had an accident (a few cars), and had they not been forced to stop, they would have been part of that accident. Luckily they came home safe and sound.

Do you now know why I believe in God. He is so good to me and my family. I will never ever choose anything above Him.

As I mentioned previously, my daughter is an artist. I hope and pray that she will get new inspiration there in Italy. She was very passive about her art the last few months.

I want you all to pray for the safekeeping and safe return of my daughter and grandchild.

THE LAST FOR A NEW BEGINNING

Last night, I attended the last of the discipleship course. What a wonderful experience. I must say, I learned a lot about me and who I am.



Funny, all the books, seminars, courses, etc. that I have attended the last few months, I learned more about me, who I am and what my purpose in life is.



Last night, our preacher explained the bridge (cross) to us. If you take a piece of paper, write God on the right hand side and Us on the left hand side. There is a big gap between the two. Draw a line (in the shape of the cross - just the bottom) between us and God. God will always be there for us. Now, at the bottom, you write Sin. It is all the sins in our lives that keeps us away from God. On top of that - Death. That is what will happen to you if you do not repent. Now, draw a straight line from the word Us to God. Only God can help us to stop doing all the wrong things and to repent. He died on the cross for us in order to do that. Now you can put Him on the cross in the middle of that line. Now you can make a mark on that line to see where you are.

If you want to help somebody to accept God, you can explain this bridge to him. Then you can pray for him. First explain to him that you are going to pray for him and that you are going to ask him to pray when you are finish. He can thank God for the opportunity to give his life to Him.

Remember, God always give us a second chance. Go for it.

OUT OF TOWN

I am sure some of you wondered what happened with me? Well, I visited my mom and dad and it was worth every moment.

A friend of my husband went to his beach house in Danabaai and said I can go with him. My mom and dad stays in George, so it was on his way to his beach house.

I surprised them, and boy, what a surprise?! My mom was a flycatcher for a moment and my dad just started to cry. I said to the people at work that my dad just looked at me (as if he could not believe it).

You know, this opportunity to visit them just made me realise how precious family and friends are. I just thank God for my wonderful family and friends.

I am very busy with the month-end recons and will catch up as soon as I have time.

RECESSION THE WORD ON EVERYBODY'S LIPS

Yes, everywhere you go, you hear the word Recession. We had two services at church (which I appreciated), papers, at work, everybody talks about it.

I said to my husband yesterday that I felt it a long time ago. We are one of the fortunate families that do battle financially, but we survive. As the guy at church said yesterday, the difference between recession and depression - recession is when your neighbour loses his car. Depression, when you lose yours.

The moral of the story is:- we had a good life. We bought what we wanted, we lived the life of people not even thinking of the day of tomorrow. I know that was my problem. As I said on Friday, we do battle, not because of what we did, but what the economy did to us. The truth is, we did not think of the day of tomorrow. Now we are all paying the price.

André said that if we cannot pay our debts, we must go and see the companies ourselves. I do have a problem just thinking about it. When the new credit act was implemented, they all accepted everything, when they gave people credit cards with a credit limit of R30 000 (I know somebody who got one), they did not think about it. Now, if that person cannot pay (asking them if he can pay less than the amount he is supposed to), they just said no. Without explanation or thank you for a part payment, or is there some way we can accommodate you by helping you with a new premium, which will be less than the one you are currently paying? How will the people react at treatment like that? With the new credit act (according to them), they will put you on the blacklist if you do not pay the full amount within a certain period.

Were you privileged enough to be phoned because you paid R20 short on your account. Believe me, I was phoned for R20 and I have been told that if I do not pay it before the end of that month, I will be blacklisted. The fact that I did not received my statement, and I just paid what I paid the previous month, did not even made an impression. I have heard of a lot of people with similar incidents.

Now, listening to stories like this, our new credit controllers (who are employed just to collect the money, no matter what), do not always have the interpersonal skills, which is necessary because our people feel beaten. They will just fire you with questions, and if you ask for time or a smaller payment, they just say no. This is definitely happening. I have heard of a person who was phoned by her bank and she asked if she can pay less (which was 3/4 of the amount - say she had to pay R1 000, she asked if she can pay R750), the answer came without hesitation - NO. She borrowed the money in order to pay the bank and for fear of being blacklisted.

You will ask why do I mention this. Easy! If we (as South Africans) must go and see our creditors and they keep on treating the people this way, how many people will go and ask for extension. A few years back, you could do something like this and did not have the fear of being blacklisted.

Another thing he said, "Start with what you have". OK, I have got an over locker, sewing machine, extra TV, etc. How do you get rid of that. I have never been in a pawnshop to pawn stuff, but what I heard, you do not get money. To put an ad in the paper will cost you a lot of money. Maybe we must think and organise with the churches to have the "yard sale" on their premises. Anybody who have anything will be able to sell it there.

Do not buy new things. That is very important. Get rid of all the debts that makes you a slave.

Keep a budget - here I am very guilty as charged.

Well, after saying so much, you must realise just how much I enjoyed it and I definitely listened.

Keep focused and stay positive. We must pray for each other and help each other (maybe you see what another person is doing, that he must change a few things), because if anything, we definitely need each other.

Will talk to you again on Monday, because I am out of office for the rest of the week.

ANOTHER TEACHER MAKING A DIFFERENCE - YOU CAN TOO!!!!

Yesterday, I said I will discuss the other e-mail. The question I asked myself was this: "How many sermons, e-mails, courses, etc. must we attend or read, before we are going to make a difference? Why are we so stubborn?

This teacher honor each of her seniors in High School by telling them the difference each of them had made. She told them, one by one, how they had made a difference to her and the class. She presented to each of them a blue ribbon, imprinted with gold letters, "Who I am makes a Difference".

Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a project, to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a Community. Each student got three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out this acknowledgment ceremony. They were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom, and report to the class in about a week.

One of the boys went to a junior executive and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon, and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said that they were doing a class project on recognition, and the junior executive must find some one to honor, and give him a blue ribbon.

The junior executive went to his boss, who had a reputation of being kind of a grouchy fellow. He told him that he admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed surprised and he asked permission to put the ribbon on him. He then took one of the blue ribbons and placed it right on his boss's jacket, above his heart. He then asked the boss to take the extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else. He told his boss that it is a school project, and the teenager will be coming back to see how it affects people.

That night, he went home and sat down with his 14-year old son. He explained to him what had happened. He said: "Imagine! He thinks I am a creative genius! Then he put a blue ribbon on me that says, "Who I am makes a Difference"." He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home, I started thinking about who I would honor, and I thought about you.

He explained to his son that his days are hectic and when he comes home, he does not pay a lot of attention to his son. He said that he yells at him for not getting good enough grades and for his messy bedroom. He said that somehow, he just wanted to sit there (that night) and tell him that his son does make a difference in his life.

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He then told his dad: "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom, explaining why I had took my life, and I asked you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I'll need it after all."

His father went upstairs and found the heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain.

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch, but made sure to let all of his employees know that they made a difference.

The junior executive helped a lot of young people with their career planning, which one was the boss's son.

Remember, who you are makes a difference. We do not have to wait for a disaster before we change. If we love the way God did, we would not have to change and we can make a positive impact in some body's life.

Go for it. You have got the ability to make a difference. We all do.

TOO BUSY FOR A HUSBAND, CHILD, FRIEND

Friday, I received two e-mails which made me cry. I decided that I am going to make a difference, but boy, I never expected it to be so difficult.

First one, the teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students and write the nicest thing they can (about that person). The teacher then took another sheet of paper (one for every student), and listed what everybody had said about that person. That Monday, she gave each student his/her list. They could not believe that they meant something to anybody else, or did not know that the others liked them so much.

Nobody ever mentioned that paper ever again (in class). The teacher was happy because the students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and this teacher attended the funeral. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin, and while standing there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer asked her if she was Mark's math teacher? She confirmed it and he said that Mark talked about her a lot.

At the luncheon, Mark's mother and father waited to speak to this teacher. Mark's father said to her that he wanted to show her something, and with that, he got Mark's wallet (which he had on him when he died), and removed two worn pieces of notebook paper, taped, folded and refolded man times. She immediately knew that it was the list of all the good things his classmates had said about him.

Mark's mother thanked her for that (because he treasured it) and then, all his former classmates started to gather around. One by one, they told her where they've put theirs. One was even in a wedding album. They said that they think that everybody saved theirs. The teacher just sat down and cried.

Friday night, I decided that I am going to love and praise my family with all I have. First, do not think you can just start praising somebody and they will accept that. I realised with a shock that some people are so negative in their way of thinking, that they cannot even accept a compliment, without a negative remark. By the way, that was one of the reasons why I started to work on that specific person.

Imagine, you are telling someone or somebody you are proud of him/her and that you love him/her and that you are glad that person is in your life, and he/she just start saying: "But when or but why, etc. Believe me, you are going to sit with your hands in your hair, and not knowing what to do.

I have decided to keep on doing that, and the reason therefor, we all have issues from the past, some gets over it and some people do not get over it. That is one of the reasons why some of the people stays negative. I need to boost that person/s, so that he/she knows that he/she is a wonderful creation of God.

Sometime, we wait too long and then we have a problem. I am a caring person, who like to hug and kiss. Somewhere along the line, I too, got rid of this wonderful way of showing love. I hug and kiss some members of my family, but the ones who do not like it - I leave them. I am going to start by telling them how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

I dare everybody reading this, start this in your family, if you do not do it. We all survive from love. Just remember, money cannot buy love

I will chat about the other e-mail in my next posting.

SCARY - YES; AFRAID - MAYBE

Thursday night, my daughter and I were talking in bed (her dad was on a course in JHB), and suddenly we saw this bright light going over my house. We realised that it was the Security Company checking on us, because I told them we were alone at home. Settling down again, we heard a gunshot. I got up and looked through the window (how stupid can one get?) if I can see something. I saw a police car go the opposite way from where I heard the gunshot. A few minutes later, I saw the police car, then the car of one of the old security companies, and a minute or two later, the other security company's car. Then we heard another gunshot. I think the realisation of what was happening in our neighbourhood only surfaced.

You know, it was only me, two of my daughters and my granddaughter on the premises. I have a responsibility as a parent to keep them safe. Luckily my other daughter was on a course in Bloemfontein.

However, with the new legislation, we are not allowed to have firearms on our premises, unless you have a new licence. I got rid of my pistol, because paying all that money, and you will never use the pistol (I have never used it since the day I bought it), is not worth it. The other factor is the problems that you are facing if you do shoot somebody. Even out of self defense. Funny that men cannot shoot at a criminal, but a criminal can shoot at you. Today, all the criminals have firearms, but the poor victims (all the honest, hard working people), aren't allowed to have one.

Yesterday, I heard about a break in spree in one of the neighbourhoods. The guy is sleeping with his pistol under his pillow. Waking up the next morning, about everything was stolen, his pistol was removed, all the bullets packed neatly next to him, and the pistol was put back under his pillow. The message???? I think it was just to tell him: "Listen pal, we were here. We did do whatever we wanted to, and you were sleeping". You see, they spray or burn certain substances which make you sleep very very deep. You will only wake up the next morning, and most of the time with a headache. My family was victims to such a break in. I cannot explain to you how it feels when you realise that all your jewelry (some pieces were inherited), lab top, car, etc. are gone. They have been in your house while you were sleeping. That is intrusion of your privacy - to say the least. The only way to conquer this fear (after such a break in), is praying and praying and believing in God.

You know, another thing I realised: EVEN DURING TIMES LIKE THIS, WE AS SOUTH AFRICANS CAN STILL LAUGH. Thank God for this gift. We are a wonderful nation, full of humor and smiles. We can even laugh at ourselves. What a great gift. This is truly a gift of life.

You must all have a wonderful and blessed day.

Yesterday, I have asked that you must pray for my daughter - to be the chosen one for the apprenticeship. Well, we've got good and bad news. The good news is that she got it, but the bad news is that they did not get the grant for the apprenticeship. If she is willing to work for six months without being paid, she can have it.

I said to her that she must take it and work as if she is getting paid. If they do get a grant, they will definitely take that into consideration. The other big factor - instead of just a certificate in Arts and Graphics, she will obtain a National Diploma in Arts and Graphics. I think it is worth it to try.

Now I am going to ask you all, please pray that if it is God's will, the college will get the grant. As a single mom (she is divorced), that little bit of money will help a lot. She do get a lot of support from her ex, but I think she just want to feel that she can provide for herself. Especially because my husband said that she will never earn or make money with this course.

After last night's service, I am just wondering how many of us are fake? How many have got a plastic image? It is one thing to be a Christian and another to say you are one. If you are a Christian, people must be able to see it in your life. The way you behave and speak will definitely a testimonial. If your actions tells a different story, boy, then you have problems.

Another thing that Wian mentioned was our stereotype saying "I will pray for you". You know what, the moment we say something like that, we must mean it. We must pray for ourselves and others'. This is not a selfish action. If we pray, we must be honest with God and with ourselves, otherwise our action and word would be as if we did not say anything at all.

Another important thing, do we reach out to other people? Do we tell them about God and what God have done for us - I do not think we do that as often as we are supposed too.

I think that I mentioned that both my eldest and youngest are Art and Graphic students. One thing I do battle with - all the paintings that must be NUDE. My eldest must do a painting with 24 breasts on. She asks us on a regular basis to pose for a photo, but my two daughters and I are running like mad. Even though nobody will know who's is who's, it still doesn't feel right.

My husband and I are still from the old school. Nude pictures or paintings is a big no, no. We feel we cannot even look at it (I must usually crit them), and they cannot understand it, because for them, it is just an assignment.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CRYING????

Wian, you need to go home (not really), because I am going to look like E.T. by the time you leave. I cannot remember when I last cried so much. As a rule, I do not cry for myself, but I can cry my heart out for other people or if I see something beautiful. Some people will ask why?. In my situation - people hardened my heart.

After last nights service, I still feel like crying all the time. I think it is because I looked at myself in the mirror. I did not like what I saw.

Wian said we must not isolate ourselves from other people. I realised that I am in a routine of getting up, going to work, going back home, and start again by getting up. Every second Saturday, my youngest and I go for our facial waxes and every Sunday it is church occupying my time for an hour or two. Wow, what do you see? I don't see any friends. I have lost all my friends down the road (I presume I was too busy with my studies, work and family).

I realised another thing, I am lonely. My husbands friend come and see him quite often. I have only my children, grandchild and the most important one, God, in my life.

I realised another thing, if I had real friends, I would have handled the problem that I have had differently. Maybe I would not have been so patient, or maybe I would have been more patient. The fact is, after this services, I realised that I messed up. I allowed my children to stop going to church, because the woman causing the problems is such a big "Christian". Instead of telling them that we are all human, I crucified her for messing up my life, as well as my children's lives.

I have asked God to forgive me, but you know what, I forgot to forgive my husband. Although I said I forgave him, I did not acquitted him. I think if I can do that, the trust factor will come back into our lives.

Wian said that we need a friend we can talk to. A friend that is worthy of your trust and one who will not tell everybody what you discussed with him/her. I realised that I need to make friends again, and make time to interact with that friends. I need to cry about my own heartaches and pain. For that, I am going to need a friends shoulder to cry on.

I want you all to pray that God will give me the knowledge and insight as to how to forgive myself totally, the ones who made me unhappy for the last 10 months, and to open my eyes if there is somebody or something else that I forgot about. It is my wish to do that, but I am not really sure how to do that. Do I go to that person (although I never said something) and tell him/her that I forgive them? Will they know what it is all about? They still think as friends, they have a right to do what they do. I said to God that I surrender, but is that enough. Isn't there anything else that I need to do?

He said that we must not have secrets. Wow, what would I give just to be able to talk to my husband about our finances and other stuff, without ending up with one huge fight. He still think that I must save (tell that to somebody who battle to survive). He still think that we can spend the money as we used to. He forget the fact that my salary is nearly half of what I use to get. How do you communicate with someone like that?

I must say, the devil is sooooooo busy in my household. My husband was impressed with Wian and his music. If you know the kind of music my husband likes, this is a big wow factor. I cannot even play my gospel music around him, because it is "depressing". We could not wait to go to the services, but I think the devil saw the attitude change in my husband.

Last night, when I got home - guess what - two of his friend pitched up with alcohol (as a rule, he never drink during the week) and spend the evening with him. He did not go to church. I went all by myself. He wanted to go to the service for the men this morning. They (his friends) decided to go to JHB at six and not at seven as discussed. I said to him he must go with his own car, but he decided to go with them. The devil won this round, but he must know, I am on his case with my husband. I pray that my husband will see him for who he is and fight him.

You know, Wian said that God will do anything for you. I could not help but thinking why do I allow situations as the above to sidetrack me? I had to pray a lot last night, because at first I could not concentrate on the sermon. Thank God for helping me - especially with getting rid of all the things that I need to give to Him.

I want you all to pray for my daughter. She is an art student and in line for an apprenticeship at the college. At this stage, she definitely qualify, but if management say it must be AA, then she will not get it. Her heart is in it, but if it is not God's will for her to get the apprenticeship, then she must accept it, for He will have something better in line.

With three very artistic children in the house - it can spell disaster - especially because their dad do not think that they will be able to earn a salary with their art. Please pray for a mind change in him.

WOW!!!! GOD IS VERY BUSY

Wow, that is the only way to describe this scary feeling. As I said yesterday, Wian is preaching at our church and the scary part is because he is preaching about all the demons that I have been fighting for the last month or so.

I have said that I am not going to say I am sorry because I am a Christian. Well, although I did not do that, I was fairly quiet about the fact that I am a Christian. How cool is that? I do not think it is cool at all.

I said to a dear friend that she must let go and forgive another person who did something to her. What did I do? I said that I forgave somebody, but every time she is still doing the thing that upsets me and my family, I forget about that forgiveness. Instead of praying for her, I am fighting with my husband for allowing her to make me and my family unhappy. He helped her through a difficult time in her life, and the more I feel uncomfortable with the situation, the less he understands why I am feeling that way. I realised that I must forgive her, but the most important thing of all - I must forgive myself for putting my family in the situation that we are.

Although I enjoyed last night's service, I cannot remember a lot. The only thing that I do remember with clarity - the forgiveness issue. Another thing he mentioned was that we must stay focused. My perception of that was:- If we take our eyes away from God, we will go downstream again. We must start to be listeners - not talkers (the I and me must disappear). If somebody have a problem, we must listen and help. We must not think that we have been through a tougher situation or problem. We must be quiet. We must listen to what that person is saying and help him with that problem. Now, I think if the problem is too big, pray and ask God to help you with that problem, and to help you to be able to support that person.

Another thing that I realised is that God is a God of love. We must love the same way as God. Since that realisation, I feel like telling everybody that I love them and care for them. I love the ones near me, and even love the people I do not know, because God made us all. He gave us that ability to love unconditionally. I am glad that He gave me the personality that I have, because I really do love people and care for them deeply.

I hope and pray that God will send the right people on my path in order to do what He wants me to do. I am not 100% sure of how I am going to deal with that problems, but I do believe that God will send the right one to coach me and help me.

May God give that His light will be shining in us every day.

God bless

WIAN VOS - ANOINTED ONE OF GOD

It is the Pentecost/Whit(sun) week at our church. We have Wian Vos as our preacher. What a wonderful experience.

He started the service by explaining to us what JUMP (his theme for the week) means. The meaning of the word is J = Jesus; U = Unlock; M = My; P = Potential. What a concept? Just by looking at the word, you feel like jumping up to see what God has unlocked.

He also said that everything is about God - not you. In other words, we must get our priorities in order. God must be first, and then the rest can follow. The songs that we sing before the service starts, is not just singing, it is supposed to be worshipping. He said that we must stop being false. God is not just a visitor, coming in while we sing or when the service is going to start. He is already there. We cannot lie, because God knows the truth.

He said we must unlock those rooms, keeping us from God. We must listen to what God is telling us.

I could not hold back my tears. As a matter of fact, I cried so much, I did not even realise that my sister, sitting next to me, is also crying. I only had eyes and ears for Wian and the word of God. He asked us a few times to be still and hear what God is telling us.

Well, God have been very very busy in that church yesterday. I got a feeling that Wian tapped into my mind (with God's help), while he prepared his sermon. Questions and why and how's that was a big issue for me the past week or two, was discussed and preached about.

My sister even made a joke and said that God was so busy with me, that she did not have a change to be busy with Him. I said to her she should have knocked harder. This is one wonderful thing about my family. We are very humanistic.

I realised the following:-

1. 
   
   I must stop worrying about my children and start praying for them


2. 
   
   It is one thing to forgive somebody who is hurting you, but it is another thing to acquit that person, because if you do not do that, you ensure that there are bondages that will keep you from being the wonderful child God wants you to be.


3. 
   
   With shame I realised that a personal problem that I have battled with, poisoned my children, just because I did not handle the problem correctly.


4. 
   
   The word I and Me must dissapear from my vocabulary when speaking to other.


5. 
   
   I must become a listener, rather than a talker.


6. 
   
   I must do more Bible study (I did not do that much as I used to)


7. 
   
   I must give all my problems to God, without even thinking of taking it back


8. 
   
   God's light must shine through me, and I can only do that when I unlock the rooms to the above.

I must say, I cannot believe that God was with me everyday. I woke up with a Gospel song in my head (each and every day). Problems were solved so easily. I know that He was with me, but I feel ashamed because I always received, and never gave that much back in return. I believed that I was ready to go any day. I must thank God for opening my eyes and heart.

Wian wrote a prayer song for South Africa. He said that we must commit in helping and do something to make our country a better place. I love my country and will definitely do anything in my power to help to make South Africa a country to be proud of. All of us - all the South-Africans can help to make a difference. We must just stand together.

I believe that God picked our two preachers with His own hands. I think Wian is in that same category. I pray that God will keep them strong and healthy, to keep up with the good work.

EMOTIONALLY STRONG?!

What a week. I have been very busy, and decided that I must do at least another one. What is the purpose of a blog if you do not update it as often as possible.

I experienced a paranoia attack this morning. When I left home, a guy was sitting in front of my house. I phoned my daughter to warn her, but she did not answer her phone. I phoned her friend (who was sleeping over), and her phone was on voice mail. I phoned the house, they did not answer. I phoned each number about three times, but to no avail. At last, I phoned CPS Security just to go and have a look if everything was all right. Well, they were still sleeping. Mom was worried for no reason at all.

The reason why I acted the way I did was because a friend of my future son-in-law was killed two days ago. It was a cold blooded murder. I do not care if people say they had a reason for doing so (especially in certain cultures), it is wrong. You are not allowed to take a life. The Bible says that if you take a life, you must pay with your life. I think that is the big problem in our country. People kill other people and then they get booked into a "guesthouse" (jail), at the taxpayers expense. The system is wrong. As long as they get fivestar treatment, they will keep up their "good" work (crime rate will increase).

Do I sound bitter? Yes, I am. The guy who got killed (his family was in the house), was the father of three children. Imagine the emotional distress in that house. I think, apart from murder, they must prosecute the killers for emotional murder too. That family will never be the same.

The question I ask myself, why is our crime rate that high? Is it because of the economical situation? People who do work suffer financially. What about the millions on the street who cannot find a job? It is easy for the government to say you must start your own business. How do you start something without money?? They do give loans (if you are in the right group), but the other's must do it on their own.

They say that the white people must not go overseas. They have the same right as the others' in South Africa. Well, I believed that. I believed that I fell in the "previously disadvantaged group". The problem is: I am white!!! I got a National Diploma in HR Management. I received a certificate for the best sudent of all the Diploma Students. At my age, it was a wonderful experience. I was so charged up and full of hope. I applied for different jobs in HR, and even applied 5 times at one place (from learnership to HR assistant). I never heard anything from one of my applications. My son-in-law is dealing with the one company (where I applied 5 times), just to find out: "If I see an application, and it is a white person, I throw it out. I have a lot of black people working here, and that is the reason why I need a black person". Is that right, legal? I doubt it.

I wanted to start my own business, and looked into various options. My husband and family did not even want me to try. Why are we so scared and afraid. Why can't we just believe that somebody have the potential to do something? The one option was a funeral service (not the funeral itself, but all the extra's). Everybody said no from day 1. You know what, since that time, 3 new ones opened and everybody is making their money.

You know, when everybody is telling you that you are going to be a failure, you believe that. I know that I have the potential to start my own business and make a success of it. What keeps me backing out everytime. I will tell you: I started to believe all the negative remarks about me wanting to do my own thing. I started to believe that I am going to fail.

In the meantime, everybody is just surviving and not living. We survive day by day. We do not enjoy life anymore. Everything is too much for everybody. Nobody have the will to fight for their rights. We are acting like people who were brainwashed. Did I explained that this is our average person in this wonderful country of ours. The people who are positive and motivated looks like a coloured crayon next to that person.

People will say, how can we be positive under this circumstances? Easy! Give your problems to God. He will help you, and because you are human, you will have negative thoughts and moments (like me when I started this blog today), but HE WILL help you. You must just believe in Him. Do not listen to what the devil tells you. He is brainwashing you to be a negative and unmotivated person. That is what he is doing best. Ruining people's lives.

Just remember, we do have a wonderful country. We are privilege with all the freedom that we have. We can read our Bibles, without fear of being caught.

BIGGEST GIFT EVER - NOT EVEN MONEY CAN BUY IT!

Well, as you all know, it was Mothers day on Sunday. We don't usually make something big of it (my husband think it is a moneymaking scheme - I think most of the readers experience the same), and my daughters try their best to spoil their mom.

For the first time in years, my husband remembered that it is mothers day. I could not believe it, but did appreciate it. My middle daughter brought me flowers. I said to my youngest, who gave me a big hug and kiss at 2.00 Sunday morning (she works and she only got home at 1.45) that I do not want a gift. My eldest gave me a voucher of R500. How privilege I am?

My youngest thanked me after church for giving birth to her and raising her the way I did. As she said: "I would not have been the person that I am without you raising me the way you did". That was the biggest gift anybody can get. It is worth more than all the money in the world. When I spoke to my mom, she said more or less the same to my mom. She said": "Thank you for giving birth to my mom and raising her the way you did. If it was not for that, I would not have been there and my mom would not have raised me the way she did".

Hearing words like this is an emotional experience. You feel so small, so grateful and at the same time very happy if you hear words like that. I cannot thank God enough for the three children that I have.

Last night we laugh and made jokes with each other. My youngest said that one of the students made a remark about our family. She said that she haven't met a family like ours. We can joke, laugh and even fight if needed, but we stay close to each other. My eldest daughter's husband and my middle daughter's boyfriend made the same remark years ago.

We are a very close family. We stand together, cry together, love and fight together. Nobody have a chance of coming between us - the bond between us is too strong. You cannot buy this. Not with money or anything in the world.

MOM, ARE YOU OK?

This morning, on my way to work, I realised that I am a very privilege person. My eldest daughter phoned me, just to ask if I am OK, because the ambulances went crazy (near the college). The past me when I crossed the bridge, on their way to Virginia (or rather the Virginia road).

How many mom's can say that they have such a good relationship with their children? I mean, the first person she was thinking off was her mom. That is something that I will treasure in my heart.

My children and I are very very close. This is something that some people cannot understand. They always wants to know how we do it.

My youngest and I went to a camp for a weekend. A woman approached my daughter and asked her how and what are we doing to be so closed. She said that she wanted such a relationship with her 16 year old daughter. When my daughter told me that, I said to her that it is not something that just happens now and in the present. The past (when they are small) is the most important part of building a relationship with your child. The biggest secret is that you must keep on building that relationship. You must be there for your child, at all times. You must be a friend and a mother. I always differentiate the two when they did something wrong by saying - "now I am not your friend, but your mother. I need to discipline you, and in order to do that, you must understand that I am your mother. When this problem is sorted out, we will be friends again".

Even the priest who called my daughter that weekend said to me: "You know that I am just calling you to come with your daughter for assistance. I just want to tell you, God says that you do not have to worry about your child anymore. As much as you love your daughter, God loves her more and he is going to take that burden from your shoulders". What a wonderful Lord we have. I told nobody that I worried about my daughter not wanting to go to church anymore. The reason was because of a personal crisis that we had in our family after my husband came back from Zambia. She had a big problem coping with that problem, as it was something that did not do the term Christianity any good.

All three my daughters will still come to me if they have a problem. The eldest (26 this month), the middle one (24 this month), and the youngest (20 in October). They talk to me about anything that bothers them. If someone is using drugs, they want to know why they throw their life away. If they do not believe in God, they question that. If someone do not have a good relationship with his/her parents, they will talk about that. The list can go on and on.

If somebody hurts me, they will definitely say something. They do not allow anybody to say something nasty to me (not even their Dad, who they also adore). They will not hesitate to tell him or her that what they just did was not nice.

If I do not feel well, they are all around me. They will help me, even feed me if necessary.

Although it is Mothers day on Sunday, I will definitely salute my children on Sunday. I will be thanking God (as I do daily) for the three lovely and wonderful children he gave me.

To all the mothers out there: "Make sure you build that relationship with your children. Believe me, it is worthwhile".

FORTUNE TELLER - A BIG NO NO!!!!

Yesterday, I was standing in my daughter's flat and I was listening to the radio with one ear. Not really focused, I did not realise what they were talking about. Then, all of a sudden, I realise that it was a fortune teller on our local radio station. People phoned in and asked him about their work/jobs, if they are going to win money etc.

What a super smart guy. He said to the one woman that he does not see her winning money in the near future (she got a letter in the post stating that she could win, but must pay an ex amount first in order to qualify for the draw). He also said that she must be careful, and that that kind of letters will not secure winnings, and that he was there too (he received some of the letters too). He answered in such a way that it can go both ways.

I said to my daughter that it is a sin to predict and to listen to predictions. It is not me saying that, it is in the Bible. I got so cross that I wanted to phone him and ask him to tell me about my life, being a Christian and how I will grow (I knew this will shut his mouth). I then soon realise that it was the devil working within me, because while I wanted to talk to this guy, telling him it is a sin, I will be doing what the devil wants me to do.

I am not interested in my future. As long as I have God in my life, I am happy. By getting cross with people like this, I will definitely be feeding the devil.

I think that I do understand the saying: "The devil is mighty, but GOD is almighty". The devil wanted me to do this, but God showed me that it is not the right way to stop something like that. I do not have answers as to how or where to start, but I do know that GOD will lead the way.

Yesterday I said I have hope for our country. First, the black guy got up from his chair so that I can sit (it is not their culture), a black woman gave the best service I've had in a long time, and now the shocker: the white people helped, but not with so much enthusiasm as the black lady. Funny that in today's economic situation, they definitely did not feel threatened, or anything. They were confident, but not as good as the one who helped me.

If we start working together, all South Africans', irrespective of the race, we will be a wonderful rainbow nation. At this stage the scale definitely goes to one side.

My other problem with our nation: "Why do we not allow the sun to shine above other people?" You know, our biggest problem is that we are always talking about the others.

If someone you know get a raise, you get jealous, if he gets promoted - the same result. This is not how GOD wants us to act. Children of God will forget and forgive. They will congratulate another person and they will really feel good and happy for that persons' sake. God will put HIS love in you and you will show people that God's light is within you.

Come on South Africans, we are a rainbow nation. One of the friendliest nations in the world. Why is it so difficult for us to get along. We need a mind change. Treat other people as a person, a creation of God, and do not look at him as he/she is from another race. This is the only way to take hands and be the nation we can be.

HOPE FOR SOUTH AFRICA

I have decided that today will be the day that I will go to Telkom to change the company name on our invoices and ensure that our VAT number appear on the invoice.

When I arrived there, there were only two chairs in the waiting line. I was standing and dancing very faintly because I cannot stand for long periods at a time with my back. There were a black couple sitting in the chairs and I saw that the woman said something to her husband. The next moment, the husband got up from his chair and offered it to me. I was without words. I could not believe it and could not stop thanking him and his wife. If they just knew what a big favour they showed me, because at that stage my back already started to ache. I sat next to the woman and all I could say was thank you (I repeated myself over and over again).

The next surprise was when the lady from Telkom came to my chair to offer her help. Out of three people, she was the only one doing that. I am definitely going to tell Telkom that they have a piece of gold in her. Clients came in, and some of them refused to go to the other two. They waited for her to finish. She really have fantastic interpersonal relationships with her clients.

Unfortunately, they went onto a new programme, and she was not able to help me. In fact, all the ladies working there tried to help, but they will definitely need a lot more training.

I want to thank all the people who helped me today, and the ones who made my day a special day.

Tomorrow, I will have a better and longer posting. I must go and pick up my child at college. Have a wonderful evening and day.

CHRISTIANITY VS ATHEISISM

I received an e-mail about Gareth Cliff this morning. Very, very upsetting.

I first want to tell him, if you prefer not to be a Christian, do not make fun of those working for and with God. If you attack a child of God, it is as good as attacking God himself.

I, myself, prefer walking the path with God. I do not crusify people who do not believe in God, but I do expect them to respect my feelings.

Gareth, I can just feel sorry for you, because you have a choice between eternal life and death. I prefer the eternal life with God. Stop making fun of the Christians, and pray for forgiveness. It is not too late and our God is a forgiving God. He will always be prepared to take your hand and help you. In fact, you do not have to pray if you do not want to, we will pray for you. God is going to use you in a way that you will and cannot believe. I will ask the whole of South Africa to start praying for you. You will be the modern Paul. He went after all the Christians, and God used him. Sometimes God needs to make use of somebody like you (famous, popular and very frank about their personal view of Christianity), to show us that if He decided to use somebody, nobody will stand in His way. I hope and pray that God will take you in His arms and use you - maybe you will be the next Angus (doing the same work as Angus).

My children do have the same problem at school. After the mighty men conference, they talked about it and the atheists and gothic students did not like it. One girl even said to my daughter she must play a certain group's music (joking and making fun of our God), to irritate me and my husband. I praise God for the children that I have, telling me about this argument that they've had and been able to stood up against the other children. They (the other students - they are art students) think it is very cool to be an atheist or gothic.

I am just asking myself - where are these parents. My children are treated as outcasts because of their religion, but at least they know why. Do those parents even know that their children are on drugs, very sexual active, drinking blood, go to satanist meetings? I do not believe that. I cannot believe that any parent will allow something like that.

They told my children that they are crazy to believe in God and they just said they do not believe that they are the crazy ones. They said to them that they believe they are crazy by drinking blood.

Because of their religion, my children had a very tough time at the college, and I had to explain to them more than once that it is the devil trying to work his ways. I said to them that they must just start to pray for those people. This semester, I've seen a definite change in their attitude towards my children. Praise God for that.

Sometimes, I feel so small. I have 3 lovely daughters, not using drugs (in fact, they despise it), they believe in God and they are very good children. They talk to me and my husband with respect, are always there when we need them (we are a very close family) and they are not ashamed of showing their feelings for us. They will still hug and kiss us, whether there are other people around us or not. If they have problems, they do not hesitate to come and talk to me and their dad. They will tell us about the students using drugs, and what they are going to do about it. They even complained about it at the college, and had a lot of problems because of that, but they did the right thing and they survived it.

Some of you will ask - is this not just a mother talking? No, I am not. Although my eldest is turning 26 this year, I do not hesitate to tell her if she is doing something wrong. My children are mature, not afraid to stand up for what they believe in and their hearts are in the right place. They will do anything to help somebody in need. They will fight for justice, and will not hesitate to tell a person that he is wasting his life (using drugs etc).

Cracks in our life / foundation

I had a request from one of my readers to write about the cracks in our lives. Guys/Girls, you are welcome to sign in as a follower and I would love to hear your comments.

I received an e-mail about cracks. It was about a building that was in use for many years. There appeared cracks on the 42th floor. The managing director was very troubled by it and got an architect to come and look at it. When the architect came, the managing director went to the 42th floor to meet him and was very upset that he could not find him. He then learned that the architect went to the basement and finding him he asked what he is doing there, as the cracks are on the 42th floor. The architect then replied that there might be a crack on the 42th floor, but the problem lies with the foundation of the building.

They then learned that the security guard that worked there wanted to build a garage at home, but he did not have enough money. He took one or two bricks every night (before going home), to build his garage. This was the foundation problem and the reason why cracks appeared on the 42th floor.

If we look around us, we will see a lot of people with cracks in their 42th floor. Things do not happen as they are supposed to, stress levels are high, finances and love are in the process of dissapearing. People have affairs while married, do not have respect for eache other or their lives, temptations are irresistible, etc.

The moment whe experience problems or difficulties, we first go to the 42th floor in order to rectify or save what we can. The problem: - the fault, problem or difficulty that we experience is not there, but at the foundation. We must look for the cracks in our hearts.

The tragedy in life is that most of the cracks are caused by other people. People sometimes have the tendency to weaken your foundation and by doing so, they ensure that you experience a crisis.

In Mat 7 and 1 Kor 3, we learn that we are Gods building and that He build the foundation. If we take that foundation out of our life, cracks will appear on the 42th floor.

This means that if we have a crack in our foundation, we must tend to it immediately. We must as the best architect to look at it and fix it. Only God can do it. Jesus is the big healer and architect of our broken hearts. He is waiting for us there in the basement to talk to Him and tell Him what bothers us.

For years, I thought I was the ugliest person on earth. My husband never made me feel that I was special or beautiful. I went to a sermon of Gary Kieswetter and he said that we are all special. God created us in our mothers' womb, before we were born. That made us special and unique. I then realise that I do not have to wait for other people to make me feel special. I only need God, because with Him, everyone is special and unique. That was a crack in my foundation that God healed/fixed.

If someone is nasty with you or say things that hurts, go to the big healer. He will give you what you need and when you need it. Your confidence will grow and you will feel a lot better about yourself.

We, as human beings are very dependent of what other people say or do. We must just realise that this is temporary and that God is the only answer. If somebody hurts you (body and/or soul), this is only while you are on earth. If you do not seek help, they will keep on hurting you, and you will be unhappy and it will definitely KEEP YOU AWAY FROM GOD. You must remember, the devil will do whatever he can to stop you. He will keep on trying to convince you that God is not the way to go, but you must be strong and have to withstand every temptation coming your way.

May God bless you and your family. May you have a healthy and a prosperous life with Him.